Peace and Birthday Blessings!

This is my R.

In past posts I have written about R but, I don't believe I have given the proper props to her, in any way that describes her magical spirit who is truly a "gift" to me! I am so very much aware that, there are many other souls in this world, that claim R to be theirs too.

But.....my R really IS my R.

For you see, there was a plan and of course we know that there is always a plan for us all. I call it,

God's plan.

I can with such pure of love and innocence in my heart say, that I have only been truly wise, or some have referred it as a saying of, " the presence of mind", 4 times in my almost 50 years of life. It was one of these moments, that occurred for me some 18 years ago. A group of women all gathered together in friendship and conversation at a neighbor's home. Across sitting at a table, I am introduced to R, who was not only drop dead gorgeous, she also displayed a smile to me, that could heal any persons wound visible or non and settle so softly upon your heart, her presence was of true Swedish decent and who's aura of brilliant colors, radiated and encompassed her when she walked and spoke. All with immense peace, lovable joy, and a pure silence of the knowing. Oh how I so craved to be apart of this woman's surroundings.

All God's plan.

R, I soon realized in those first 15 minutes of being in her presence, was one of those moments in ones life, when you are witnessing the grace of a persons soul. You breathe and release all the is around you in that moment. Do you decided to jump right in feet first or do you proceed with care and caution? Obviously, I chose to jump feet first with "grace" in my sights! Each time after that evening, when we would be all together, I would be anxious when with my R. Wanting so much to soak her in and let all that she talked of wash me down. Learning more and more that our lives as young ones, were so similar that it caused us goose-bumps because we finished one another sentences in descriptions. Closer and closer we became on this common earth.

It also occurred to me one afternoon, that my R had taught me so much about friendship with another women too. The best friend kind. The real kind. You see, my past was not of a great track record, when it came to sustaining long-lasting and healthy girlfriend friendships. As a teenager growing up, my best friend, as I have stated in earlier posts, was my dear sister B. There was also A. Who is so important to me and I know that I to her. We have known one another for almost 30 years. Childhood friends when she would visit her cousin in our neighborhood and we have never lost touch.

Of course I can say now being older and through life experiences, that B and A were all that I needed in growing up. They gave me unselfishly all their unconditional love and acceptance. Yet, as teenagers are in a circle of many friends, I was aware that I was still used and abused by some of these other girlfriends they claimed they were to me. After graduation, leaving and marriage, those were the friendships I had remembered, that caused me to look at girlfriends with a fair amount of disdain and of true suspicion. So many of them, gave me cause for suspicions or their warped agenda's were always discovered. I would still gravitated towards the spirits that were damaged and of self destruction of me, for that is what I thought a girlfriend was.

Then I met my R.

God's plan.

This head-to-toe beautiful love! My R taught me about loving and in acceptance for another women. My R has no airs to her walking in this world. It is of my personal belief, that my R is as close to perfection in spirit than, God may have intended us to experience. My R, regardless of any of the whys she is here, my R has each and every time been in my corner. She has always helped me sort through the ugliness that I am and see what the worth is in me. Validation and acceptance without ever feeling tolerated! My R was my only friend that took time away from herself and her family at a time, to pull me out of an abyss of the darkest darkness, that no God-born soul should have ever had to grope through. Only God will ever be able to explain to me, why I had to go through that at all, yet in the same thought and breath, it was God that lovingly placed my R in that part of time.

God's plan.

So many small or grand issues have risen in my life and it was my R that had S-A-V-E-D me on so many occasions. For me it feels like "coming home" when I am in the company of her. I can still catch myself, sometimes asking the question of my worthiness in her life. Secretly asking, "have I been truly a valid and honest enough Child of God, to be an existence in my R's life?" "Have I led a somewhat sinless enough life, to have her still want to be with me?" "Have I forgiven myself enough in my daily life, to honor my R and her breath-taking presence?" I ponder and I analysis the whys of such greatness I have been given.

Over and over again.

God's plan.

I also need to tell you another side of my R. Not only is she one of the loves of my true-life-heart, but oh, let me also tell you about the talent she has been given! I truly believe, any and all works of Mrs. B, should be hanging in the most prestigious of art galleries everywhere!


This is just one, one of her truest art creations to me. (R has also painted one for my Chica C too!) Can you see by this unjust photo, my R's God gift? My R painted 3 Autumn leaves, representing me, R, and C together. God kissed tears were shed and goose-bumps formed when we were presented with these piece of her soul and essence. I so wish that I could have her fill my entire home with her blessed talent of colors and strokes of a simple art brush. She is by far one of the greatest artists I have come to know. Her view of this wacky life and of all daily items, bring me immense peace and of the true light. In each of her strokes, my R can tell a story not just by it's color or texture. Her gifts are bottomless and of consistent love.

God's plan.

My R has fulfilled me beyond my own fulfillment! Be it, we sit with one another for a days pot of coffee, laughing over margarita's, to celebrating times like today when the heavens gave us all my R! Her and I have never been in search of words to fill our space. I am taken care of, even in her silence and I do say, her silence speaks louder than anything I have ever heard in my life.


My R is the women that gave me first, the lesson of what a real and true girlfriend is suppose to be. The rest is all grace and gravy! Back on that day of us being introduced, I am so grateful that I was wise and that I paused long enough to see more in her smile, that later launched me into bliss and oblivion! It is all permanently etched into my heart! And it was all apart of

God's plan.