January 25th, 1961
You would think that this milestone was a horrible one. I have been told it is and some of my dearest friends have wrestled with it hard.
Not me.....I haven't looked at it that way at all. It is a number, not a feeling.
I have been so happy these past few years with all that is happening around me. I have learned to appreciate the body I have been given. As I am grateful to her daily for carrying me and taking the best care she can, under all the circumstances I give her. I so love my brain. How she has helped me cope with anger and despair. To understand I cannot control anyone or any situation. I can only take care of my actions and reactions.
50 years taught me this.
I still of course, get sad and frustrated when things do not fall into place the way I intended. I desperately try to find the lesson in it when it doesn't. Beauty in ugliness and it is what it is, have become my motto's over these years.
Coming into 50 has been so wonderful for me. I stand up for myself more and do not allow others to belittle me and cause me to doubt my true moral compass. I do not allow others to put words in my mouth. I have learned it is none of my business what others think of me.
I have a soulmate at my side that is everything that is good and right. My J has always been my greatest fan and has encouraged me in everything that I do. He has provided me a life of pure bliss and it is not at his expense. My J and I are, just are. When things are right, the kind of right that is felt down to your core, you never tamper with or sacrifice that.
I stay as kind as I can when I speak or think of another. I try to allow others the same that I hope from them. I get stuck sometimes and I have learned that it passes quickly when I give it no power. I have learned that I am a good person with a very good heart.
I LOVE BEING FIDDY!
I can't wait to see how the rest of this amazing life goes. I am so excited! Excited as a 50 year old SHOULD be!