Saturday, July 17, 2010

Margarita Martha!

With smiles and a face that lit up this world.....

A heart that could submerge you into blissful oblivion....

Knowledge that readied you for the challenges that one may face....

Teacher that was beyond teaching to any of her small ones hearts....

Mother that moved mountains to care for her babies.....

Wife whom knew the depth a her quiet mans soul....

Friend compared to no other....

Spirit and soul that will reside in us forever....

God-speed our seats for us....

Monday, March 29, 2010

Peace of this & a Peace of that.

In my lifetime so far.....

I have been immensely blessed in my 49 years of life. I strive to live a grateful life everyday that I am allowed to be here. Having friendships, is one that because of the passing of time and through acquiring wisdom from others, for me, has become one of the most treasured blessing that I posses, next to the blessing of my own blood family.

Since I can remember, I have been an explorer for having and being in friendships. Seeking always for the elusive validation and acceptance in all that whom I trustingly embraced firstly. Because that's what we ALL really want in this world from others. No?

Over these last 4 decades of me, I have been given without pause by me, many friends here in proximity, as well as, some scattered over the many states across this country. The many that I have left behind, are amongst the ones that pain me into a dark space of abyss at times. Knowing that I only see them but once or twice a year. These childhood moppets, were my mentors and examples to what I was in need of appropriately. I learned what it was to BE a friend. Over time, I have found some peace in knowing, that I would rather see those beautiful and spiritedly rich friends, once or twice a year, than endure just one (some) friend(s), that are of false slander against me. They are the one(s) that speak of unkindnesses towards me or behind me to others. You always find out down the road what they did or what they said. It is like a lie. I try daily to live my life in a way, that no one would ever think of me to BE fodder. I am well aware that I am of pure imperfection with stitched intentions of good. In the end though, it simply comes down to, how with true care and honesty, we love one another in our friendship. It is the bases of all that is right in the world.

L * O * V * E

I have never had to second guess the friends that I have chosen (or better worded, learned) to have fallen madly in love with. The others are my blessings of being my acquaintances. I still love them with the heart I have been given and educated with. I also would do almost anything for them. I do chose to protect fiercely, each of my inner circle as my blessings. I know my emotional safety is with them, as theirs is with me. In these later years, I have told some of these precious beings everything about me. (sides of me that are dark and of such pain) I have never had them afterwards belittle me, abandon me, or think less of me because of my humanness. Never has it come back to me, that I was their fodder for others either. Gossiping is never considered by any of us. We are incapable of it.

Youth is wasted on the young. I was horrified when I shared somethings with those that I truly believed were my other part of my heart. There are some people that could never recover from that kind of pain or betrayal. They even have a reality show based on the very thing! I cannot say that I have grown to now unscathed. No, there are no scars on my heart, that are still so deep that they never healed. I know that it was the wisdom that came from it that soothed and healed each cut, stab, and betrayal. I learned through some horrible circumstances and misunderstandings with some, to walk this earth thinking of only love and want for them.

Even in the midst of my childishness's of petty or pity, these friends continue to love and accept me. There are times that I stand at their doorsteps, with the insecurities I carry like Louie Vutton baggage. They help me unpack each one often. With care they lay it before me time and time again. Sorting and getting rid of. Tire is not what they feel with me. Patience is always in abundance. They do no harm.

They write me love letters of our friendship. Flowers are brought to my door. A soft sweep with their hand, against my cheek when I say something endearing to them. The celebration that erupts when we, together, make the conscience choice of J * O * Y and share it with one another just because! Our hugs that are never wanting to be un-hugged. Family disasters are confronted and pain is soon kissed away.

These "FRIENDS" are the ones that have real faith.
And I am so blessed that each of them chose me too.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Petal's of Peace

The morning of January 25th, I woke to find my home

scattered with petals

and containers of various

colors, sizes,

textures, and variety's of

God's beauty.

All for me.

I must say, it was a very

Saturday, January 23, 2010

A Peace of Fly Paper.

Why is it,

that I

find myself


and laughing

over this?

Am I the only one?

Monday, January 18, 2010

Peace's of a Shattered Mind.

You know, back when I had first thought about creating a blog for myself and then making the decision to share it with others in this crazy blogging world, I had believed for the most part, that I would be writing posts that were mainly going to be of simple fun, or of deep meaning to me as in people that touch my life, or even of our families silly traditions!

Yet, since making that long ago decision to become a blogger, I had became more and more aware that, I had something even more to contribute outside of just myself. Each visit or my own posting, onto the many different digital papers, I found that there was more to all this than met the eye. That I found fellow blogger's were commenting on my postings. That there were things to be said and acknowledged. That I had more laughter to be ingested. That my incurable desire for Peace, I was quickly discovering it in the many other blog's on long the way. Even for the very elusive forgiveness, that I am always in hope for, in "what-ever" was happening around me and was given to me in the writings of my own and on the pages of friends that I made along the way.

In all these writings of mine, I have hoped that I have given the impression that I have a life has been one of true and pure positiveness and I live my day by such rules. That I am of the optimist nature and I have little room for the pessimists way of living. That stuff happens to us all. That I have succumbed to move through whatever it is. Always seeking counsel and comfort from those that I truly hold in high regard. To actually go through the angst and power that it is. That I never pack my bags for my days travel with any type of negativity on my mind or in my heart. That I choose bliss and that I stand only in compassion and empathy.


These past 3 to 4 months, have been so unnerving and tiring for me, my family, and for the deeply loved friends that surround me daily. There has been so much sadness. Loss. Anger. Of so little peace.
I am feeling beat up.

Each time, I have recited to myself over and over, when something is staring me in the face once again,

"This is not God's fault."

"With the good, comes the bad eventually."

"This too shall pass."

Or my favorite lately, and I'm screaming it loudly,

"I'M DONE!" I am standing on my soapbox. My arms stretched wide. Stomping my foot here and there. Pleading to the universe saying, no more please:

Car accidents.
Health issues.
A friend of 20 years, thinking you are capable of something, that just makes you just tilt your head to the side and say, "really?"
Pending death.
Coping with death.
A child that doesn't want to take pride in themself.
Learning of 3 friends deep depression and never knowing, ever, that they were going through it.
Attempts at suicide.
Loved ones on the brink of losing their homes.
Trying to fix what one can and realizing soon that it is futile.
Lack of compassion for another human being.
Job loss.
Relationships changing without being consulted.
A child not doing what is needed to be happy on their own.
Pets having to be laid to rest.
A Baby being left without a Mother.
Not seeing enough of those that are good for your soul.
Walking with knowledge that you do not want to know.
Employment security not safe anymore.
Eating disorder.
A parent having to move in.
Your oldest sons friend, serving in Afghanistan.
Lied to.

Well now....there you have it. I have orated all that I have had in my shattered mind and pained heart of late. The many many shard pieces that were jagged, coarse, and raw are slowly being repaired. I have stepped down off the soapbox and I am going back to believing that,

Life still goes forward......

I know, I am just feeling overwhelmed and overloaded for a spell here. A very very L-O-N-G spell. I know that the bad "ju-ju" that has been in the water lately, will eventually have to run dry.

Still, there are days that it's quickly overshadowed by the abruptness of that proverbial,
"the next shoe that falls."

I am of the thinking there is truth in,
"when it rains, it pours."


I am also of the thinking there is truth in,
"God does not give you more than you can handle."


Amongst all this, I am and have done many things to keep my mind moving and active since these months have passed. Each day, I have things to remind me of the great and the good of this blessed life I have been given. I do my best to do for another each day. After my morning coffee, faithfully, I still wrap myself in my Monet-Prayer shawl and recite my mantra on my Mala beads. I get up each day and proceed through it being continually humbled to have been allowed so many blessings. To be of reverence in been given such amazing people in my life! To accept and to strive to keep moving forward, that there are far worse things happening everywhere and to everyone. That this "pity-party" of mine is truly so small in comparison to everyone else's. That everyone has their own story and their own crosses to bear. That if we ALL could throw our troubles into one huge pile, there is probably a good chance that we would take back all of our own troubles!

So okay, I'm just tired. Weary. I just need a break or a long long pause. We all do! Country, world, and universe!

I am in prayer that posting this is will be cathartic in some way. We'll see, right?

Oh and by the way, I even went and bought a "new" pair of rose-colored glasses.
I was thinking that maybe,
just maybe,
my old ones were just really scratched up.....

Thursday, January 7, 2010

M & the PEACE she brings to us all!

On this day, January 7th, 1986, our daughter (in-law) M, was born to us all!

Our M is everything that is of beautiful appearance. When M is asked her opinion, she is kindly honest and softly truthful.

She sees more than others, in matters of the heart.

Our M has walked paths and fought battles, that no one of this age should have had to do. Our M's Mom has even said the words, "I wish I was more like her." (I admit too, that at times I look towards my M as a teacher to me in conduct.)

I so believe that all Mother's should say that about their daughter's as often as they can. Time has that way of passing and you are then left standing and wondering, "where did the time go?"

I wish this for all Mother's and Daughter's!

Baby-girl, on this birthday, we all can give you our wishes, our joys, "many" gifts wrapped in pretty paper and ribbons, prayers for your future, all of our hopes and aspirations for you, deeply exchanged hugs & kisses, and sweetie most importantly, the abundance of love.

So, our dear Baby-girl, Dad an
d I wish you this year, happiness in the purest forms. To achieve all that is before you. To always remember where you began. To keep your heart focused on the important things in life. That you are love and are loved.

And that laughing is truly the best cure for what ails ya!

Happy birthday Baby-girl!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Want a PEACE of Chocolate?

Can you believe this?

Isn't it just heavenly?

Peace AND dark chocolate! Wrapped all together?

This is too much for me to comprehend. What geniuses came up with this! I'll share it with you. (The website, not my chocolate!)

The website is

Lord have mercy!

What will they come up with next?